Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Where did December go???



Where did December go??? Why oh why did my Christmas Spirit fail me so?? I wasn't a Scrooge but Bah Humbug fit me much more better than Ho Ho Ho. I did gift, I did make some things, I did decorate, I socialized, I santa'd, I caroled, I tried so very hard to breathe...but this year it just didn't come. I felt like I was moving through December in some kind of bubble...I could see it all I could appreciate it all I just couldn't feel it all...
I don't quite know what happened. I do know that those two by the igloo and me and that Irishman in the bottom photo are getting on a plane on Friday and winging our way to Ireland. Once again I should be excited and looking forward to a trip many people only dream about, but I am tired so very, very tired. I am simply numb. I am hoping when all the pressure of the holiday and getting everyone ready for the trip is over that I will relax and have a truly wonderful trip...it is Ireland and they are Irish people so all the potential for laughing and letting go and moving on are really there. Just will I be??
And not helping any of this emotional stuff is my back. I am not even comfortably couched. I have meds that work but cannot work with the meds...so am hoping I can get myself back onto an even footing that the pain can be managed so as not to eclipse so much good. But tonight it is a gianormous eclipse over the good...I really just want to cry...and now the Irishman has the weather on and it looks like weather might mess up our trip just a bit more...I am not sure my normally strong self has much coping left...think I could come up with a big ole two year old sized temper tantrum but not much resignation and peace with any impending situations...sigh...I will keep shovelling!!
Hope you all are having a truly restful and very happy holiday season! Hope to give a bit of an update once we get across the pond...


Friday, December 11, 2009

Feed me...

There are people in the world that feed you...both literally and figuratively. They make you reach higher, they fill you with light, they heal you, they just love you in your entirety whatever that might be. Well I am fortunate that two of those people in my life came to my house today to share our Christmas. We had waffles with fried apples and roasted walnuts and almonds, tea and coffee and curled up on the couch and opened pressies and listened to lovely music as the incense filled the air with the scent of peace. I find these two always feed my spirit. They pick gifts that remind me through the year what I want in my world. The feeling of peace and contentment I so crave. And they gift to grow that feeling...it feels like Christmas/the Holidays to me once we have had our tea date. My home begs to be decorated for Christmas and it never feels like it has been honored until company comes in for a cup of tea and a goodie or two... I am so grateful that these ladies are in my life and thankful I am able to call them friends.

Happy Holidays to all may you have a friend you can call on for tea and snuggly times.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

The Quiet...










The quiet that happens this time of year, you know the one, when the decorations are up...the lights and candles lit...that time when you can put on the Holiday music and curl up on your favorite chair with a snuggly blankie and a cup of tea and just breathe it all in...and take a break from the swirl of Holiday events and activities and just soak in the quiet...the peace...the beginning of Winter. The time for rest and reflections on where you have come from and where you are going to. A time to think on all those we love, have loved, and a time of gratitude for all the blessings we truly find ourselves with. I know I get consumed with all the external events, people, places, and feelings, so I truly need a seasonal kick in the pants to look around and see how really, really, good my life is!! May you all find a moment out of the craziness to soak in some quiet and enjoy all your hard work you have done all year. Holiday wishes for blessings and peace.